I’m a small town white boy just tring to make ends meet ♪

Okay, so things have been shit for me lately.. It feels like I lost everything.  I messed up and now I’m paying the price I guess.  I  just don’t think its fair.  I was just trying to make things better.. but it came back and bit me in the ass in the end.  Before I had everything I wanted.  I had people who I cared about and they cared back. But I messed it up so much.  Now I’m lucky if I talk to you once every  month. And even at that it’s not on the same personal level as before.  I drove you away from me.  I was too busy worrying about my own issues and complaining to you that I completely forgot about yours.  But.. it’s too late now.. it’s all gone.   All I want is a second chance.. I would give it all up just to talk with you one more time.. to try and heal our broken relationship.  But I guess I had this coming.  Everything good has to end at some point or another. But it shouldn’t have to end like this.. on such a bad note..  you were everything to me.. you were the reason I woke up in the morning..  now I don’t bother waking up.. there’s no point anymore.. all I have left is my music.  The one thing that keeps me here.  I may be dumb.. but I’m  not stupid.. I know you want to fix this too..  I know you miss what our friendship used to be.. maybe not as much as I do. But I know you do.  All I want is to be able to talk to you for more then five minutes so we can sort this out.   But you gave up on me a long time ago.  I loved you.. I still do..  but you don’t care.  Did you ever care?  I’m so unsure of myself right now.  I need some peace of mind. You’re the only one who can give me that.  But since we don’t talk I guess I’ll just go crazy.  I already am going crazy.  I think about you all the time. When I close my eyes I see your face. And maybe that sounds creepy but its true. You’re the only one who could convince me everything was going to be okay. You were the only one who could comfort me when things were going bad.  You were the only one there for me in my times of need.  And now I need you more then ever. When I see you walking down the street or wherever I might see you, my heart stops.  I can’t handle this anymore…. just please forgive me..

Nibojener